Meat Liquor. 74 Welbeck Street, just off Oxford Street.
I've been saying for a while (especially after constantly drooling over The Londoner's restaurant recommendations) that I want to go to a proper burger bar in London, and after Meat Liquor was recommended to me (and having perused the Instagram #MeatLiquor hashtag... Do it) I couldn't resist a visit to the shady burger joint a few weeks ago.
The decor of Meat Liquor itself deserves an entire article. Graffiti, bears and wolves, cartooned women bearing all with captions such as 'I do not live in the world of sobriety' - this place reeks of debauchery the second you step in. The only light you get is from the two neon red 'Liquor' signs from outside in the windows and some very dim lights inside - it's dark. There's a huge round table under the dome in the ceiling - for dancing upon, apparently - and loads of smaller tables around the outside.
(yes I was shameless with my photo taking)
You give your name to the host and head to the bar whilst waiting for your table - I should probably mention now that this place doesn't take bookings, you just turn up and wait. Their policy is 'No Meat, No Liquor' - so don't expect to waltz in just for the cocktails. Oh the cocktails.
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Clearly the difficulty of the decision shone through my face as the barman interrupted my browsing with "It's a drink, not an exam paper!" and then began quizzing me on my favourite spirits to help me decide - along with some free shots of said spirits. After much debate I played it safe with the Henrietta Fizz and ordered a Malibu and Coke for my friend, much to the amusement of the barman. "Pffft, we don't sell Malibu" before instead pouring a 'Koko Kanu' and Coke - a 'real' coconut rum, nearly double the strength of Malibu. Also double the price. This speaks volumes - they don't do Meat or Liquor by half measures.
Anyway, the main point - MEAT. If the drinks list wasn't difficult enough, the menu certainly spoils you. I literally want to try everything on this menu. I'd read a couple of rave reviews online about the Dead Hippie burger being one of the best in London so I ended up going for that with a huge portion of cheesy onion fries to share (NOT chips).
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The difference between the Dead Hippie and their other burgers is that it contains two beef patties rather than one, plus their signature 'Dead Hippie' house sauce, supposedly their own type of mayonnaise that enhances the flavour of the beef. And enhance it did. Grease has never tasted so good. It had a bit of a limp appearance, unlike some of the other HUGE burgers I saw being carried out, like the Dirty Chicken Burger, but still it was delicious so I'm not complaining too much. The fries were also beautifully greasy and cheesy, but next time I think I'll be a bit more adventurous and try the Phili Cheese Fries and maybe the Buffalo Chicken Burger (anything with a blue cheese dressing wins me over completely).
Nope, no plates or napkins here. Food is presented on a tray with cutlery and there's simply a roll of kitchen roll at your table with ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise. No frills.
After the meal we wandered back to the bar for a few more drinks where I tried the vodka and absinthe Donkey Punch, and Ellie the summery mango vodka/purée So Lairy. They're so hip the So Lairy comes in a jam jar.
As you can see they have an in-house photobooth! Unless you choose to take them home, they stick them up around the bar forever. A great idea after a few cocktails.
All in all, if you hadn't guessed from its celebrity following on Twitter, Meat Liquor is cool. It personifies 'cool'. The drinks are ingenious, the food is big, tasty, greasiness at its best, the decor has a sleazy 'after hours' feel, even the staff are all incredibly cool, though some leaning on pretentious... We got talking to the waiter for half an hour who casually admitted to working part time as a model and a musician, and also to seeing Foals play at a house party once whilst being 'sah wired'.
If you like proper cocktails, A LOT of food, an old school Speakeasy-esque feel and an alternative dining experience, I cannot recommend this place enough.
If you're expecting napkins, plates, a refined atmosphere and, frankly, good service (the barmen were amazing, the waiters not so much) then it's probably not the place for you.
Bises,
Riona
P.S. I left my laptop unattended yesterday whilst writing this post and returned to see my younger brother had done a mock up of this post, trying to sound like me but actually just sounding like a very camp male... Feel free to have a read, I don't think it's supposed to make sense...
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